Ping me

Eschewing the normal, straightforward list of demands, I got into the spirit of both the season and the workplace earlier this month with this email directed at my office Secret Santa: 

MEMO
To: Santa
From: Floyd
Date: 9 December
Re: North Pole initiatives

Circling back on our facetime Saturday last at your mall locale, the following deliverables are actionable items that will incent buy-in for non-naughty core competencies in your key demographic (me):

▪ Gift cards (Home Depot, iTunes, Ace Hardware, Dunkin Donuts) -- highly scalable
▪ Cleveland sports paraphernalia (Browns, Indians, Cavaliers) -- guaranteed not to be repurposed
▪ Items related to animals (30,000-foot view); cats, ducks, elephants, polar bears, rhinos (granular view)
▪ Baked goods -- but let's ramp down the candy for minimal pushback from the dentist next week
▪ Alcohol -- a robust solution to roll out a quick win

At the end of the day, our mission-critical takeaway is that whatever low-hanging fruit we bring to the table, productizing the joy of the season should not gain traction over established best practices, i.e., a full-on go-live of peace on earth, good will toward human capital.