Friday, November 30, 2012

Aaaaand ... we're back

Well hello!

After a three-year hiatus, I'm blogging again. I used to write a blog called The Freakin' Deacon; I've imported all of that blog's content to this one so you can find all my foolish ramblings in one place.

The purpose of the original blog was to chronicle my journey through what was shaping up to be a long, drawn-out health challenge having to do with some anomalous blood tests. If you follow the old posts, you'll see that all turned out fine, thanks to your prayers and God's grace.

I quit blogging three years ago because of two primary factors: First, I had discovered Facebook and found it to be much more satisfying because of the interactive element. I got immediate reactions to things I wrote, I seemed to be reaching a much larger audience, and I liked the way it allowed me to connect with people I might never encounter otherwise. All of this is still true, but a blog may be a better format for expressing some things that cross my mind. In other words, I can write longer here.

Second, and probably more important, toward the end of 2009 (when I stopped blogging) I fell into a precipitous spiral of depression and anxiety that nearly destroyed me. This illness severely affected my job performance, and I came dangerously close to losing my job before I got help.

I'm not clear of this sickness yet, but I am much, much better now than I have been at any time since this all began. On those days when the depression is at its worst, I feel as if I'm enveloped in a thick fog that clouds my vision, my hearing, my thinking and my feeling. Nothing makes sense, and I can see no solutions.

Yet through it all, perhaps because I've been through it before, I've remained confident in the Lord my God, that through the sacrifice of Jesus the Christ, the ministry of the Holy Spirit and the overwhelming, overcoming love of my wife and others among God's people, I would eventually emerge from this victorious.

That's the genesis of the new name of this blog. I'm still experiencing that fog occasionally, but even on those dark days I know someone loves me, someone is pulling for me, someone is keeping me from drowning. I know deep down inside that I have another, greater F.O.G. -- the Favor of God.
In addition, I no longer am a member of the church where I was a deacon, so the name didn't fit anymore for that reason too. (I am an usher at my current church, but "Ushering in the fog" just didn't work for me.)

I want to thank several women in my life who have helped make my blog resurrection possible. First and foremost is My Lovely Wife, Roxanna, who has been unfailingly steadfast in her love, compassion and understanding through this entire ordeal. I love you so much. I also want to thank my sister Sheila, who has taken up the torch from our mother and frequently urges me to keep writing. Thanks also to friend and colleague Sari Zeidler, who brainstormed possible blog names with me. And thanks to CNN writers Stephanie Gallman and Kat Kinsman, whose brave writings about their own depression have encouraged me to accept mine for what it is and emboldened me to be transparent about it.

I hope you find this new blog to be interesting, thought-provoking, encouraging, and sometimes funny.

I also hope it doesn't take another three years to come up with my next topic.

1 comment:

  1. Welcome back! I'm eager to read more of what you have to say/think/write.

    ReplyDelete

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