Go team!

It seems almost quaint today, but in its time, the TV sitcom Seinfeld broke new ground in the way it addressed how straight people misunderstand gays and lesbians. In a 1995 episode titled "The Beard," Elaine decides she wants to start dating an attractive man she knows. Only problem: He's gay. Undaunted, Elaine has a plan. She talks it over with Jerry at the coffee shop:*

Jerry: Not conversion. You're thinking conversion?

Elaine: Well, it did occur to me.

Jerry: You think you can get him to just change teams? He's not going to suddenly switch sides. Forget about it.

Elaine: Why? Is it irrevocable?

Jerry: Because when you join that team it's not a whim. He likes his team. He's set with that team.

Elaine: We've got a good team.

Jerry: Yeah, we do. We do have a good team.

Elaine: Why can't he play for us?

Jerry: They're only comfortable with *their* equipment.

Elaine: We just got along *so* great.

Jerry: Of course you did. Everyone gets along great when there's no possibility of sex.

Elaine: No, no, no, I sensed something. I did sense something. I perceived a possibility, Jerry.

Jerry: You realize you're venturing into uncharted waters.

Elaine: I realize that.

Jerry: Are you that desperate?

Elaine: Yes I am.

Revelation led

We have a lot of electronic billboards around here, the ones that look like giant TV screens and change the ad every few seconds.

One near the Georgia Dome in Atlanta is owned by a company called Revelation LED, which promotes itself on a couple of the panels in the rotation.

The first time I saw the promo's big, bold logo -- REVELATION|LED -- I thought it was an ad for some church. I chuckled when I realized my mistake, but I thought, "What a great slogan that would be for a church: REVELATION LED."

It reminds me of a quote by Israel Houghton on his "New Season" CD (my favorite Christian album):

"Seasons are not governed by clocks and calendars. Seasons are governed by revelation and truth."

It's a great line in a great monologue that gets my blood pumping every time. Hear it for yourself in context in the following file. The monologue follows the song, which is quite beautiful and was co-written by Free Chapel's worship leader, Ricardo Sanchez. The monologue begins at 6:18 of the clip.

The Deacon is Freakin'

OK, this is pretty wild. We truly are made in the image and likeness of God. Watch this:

Old friend, new life

So I was reading the local paper (the Atlanta Journal-Constitution) one day last month, and I saw an item about a band called Blue Flashing Light from Athens, Georgia, that had just completed a two-week tour of China.

The item quoted the band's frontman, Ian Schwarber, who said a Chinese cultural committee had sought out bands from Georgia to help celebrate Chengdu's peach festival. Apparently the famous Georgia peaches are in fact a variety that originated in Sichuan Province, where Chengdu is located.

(Chengdu is the place where Monday's devastating earthquake occurred. Please join us in praying for the folks there, and donate to a relief organization if you can.)

Accompanying the article was a tiny headshot of Schwarber. I glanced at it and kept reading. Then I stopped and went back to the photo. Then back to Schwarber's name. Then back to the photo.

I asked My Lovely Wife, who was sitting nearby, "What was the name of that kid who worked at that coffee shop back in Ohio and had a band?"

She thought for a moment but couldn't come up with it immediately.

"Was it Ian?"

"Yeah, Ian. Why"

I showed her the paper. "Isn't this him?" (I know, I should have said "he," but who talks that way?)

Her eyes grew wide and she grabbed the paper out of my hands. "That is him!" she confirmed. (Ditto.)

See, not only does Ian make a nice caffe latte and write pretty song lyrics, but he's a good-looking sonuvagun too. Here's proof:

Anyway, it turns out Ian and the boys moved from Ohio to Georgia about the same time we did, starting over in a booming college town known as a cradle of talented bands. And things seem to be going well.

You can learn all about Blue Flashing Light and hear samples of their songs at http://www.blueflashinglight.net/ or http://www.myspace.com/blueflashinglightEMup .

One of Ian's little secrets is that he is obsessed with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. A deeper secret is that it was My Lovely Wife who first turned him on to Buffy through some coffee-shop evangelism.

After we discovered they were here in Georgia, MLW Googled the daylights out of BFL and learned they had an upcoming gig in the ATL. We determined to go to that show and surprise Ian. MLW even had a T-shirt made that says "Buffy Y BFL."

By the time the show date came around (last Friday night), MLW had spoken with Ian and he knew we were coming, so the element of surprise was lost. Yet and still, as they say down here, he was thrilled to see us and our faces were rocked.

Then on Monday Ian went solo and competed in the famous open mic night at legendary listening room Eddie's Attic (http://www.eddiesattic.com/) in Decatur. There were 21 singer-songwriters, and Ian unfortunately went first. He wasn't chosen as a finalist, but Eddie took him aside and said he was exercising his authority to invite Ian back to the summer shootout as a wildcard.

I don't think Ian's going to make us any more cappuccinos, but he's making great music and that's even better. And we've reconnected with an old friend who is a really good guy, which is best of all.

The adventure that was 2007

The year 2007 started with a bang. That was the sound of my abdominal wall bursting open with a hernia the size of my hand. I had just had one repaired on my left side in August of 2006, but this time I opted for the larger, roomier model on the right side. Never settle.

Meanwhile, I was struggling a bit in the new job under the thumb of a certain supervisor. His constant badgering and efforts at public humiliation inspired nervousness in me that led to even more mistakes, and I actually had a panic attack at work one January night in anticipation of screwing up an important task. I truly feared I wasn't going to make it in this job, but a couple of key friends back home were praying for me and helped me get through. They convinced me that the Lord didn't bring me this far to drop me now.

Anyway, the body shop patched me up in mid-February, but

I soon noticed that I was rapidly losing weight -- 14 pounds in six weeks.

The surgeon said people don't typically lose weight with hernia surgery, so I should see my primary care physician. So I had a complete physical and blood work, which indicated my white-cell count was a little low. The doc had it redone to make sure it wasn't a glitch, and it came out even lower, so she sent me to a gastroenterologist, Dr. Harris (I had also complained of getting full after a couple of bites), and a hematologist, Dr. Jaye.

Over the next few months I had an abdominal CT scan, a colonoscopy, an esophagogastroduodenoscopy (aka upper endoscopy or EGD), a pelvic X-ray, a capsule endoscopy (for which I swallowed a tiny camera and walked around all day with electronic equipment harnessed to my torso) and a gastric emptying study (for which I ate radioactive oatmeal and lay on a table while a sensor determined how quickly it moved through my system).

All of which led to exactly nothing in the way of diagnosis. Granted, I did learn that all those systems are in fine working order. But the question of my low white-cell count remained unanswered.

My first meeting with Dr. Jaye went well until she used the word "lymphoma." That got my attention, let me tell you.

After a difficult and disappointing search, we found and joined an excellent church with a terrific preacher. Free Chapel, led by the Rev. Jentezen ("Jensen") Franklin, is 45 miles away in Gainesville, Georgia, but it makes for a nice Sunday morning drive. The Spirit is present there and the teaching is Rock-solid. The music rocks, too.

During the summer, I read the book "What Would Jesus Eat" by Don Colbert. As a result, my lovely wife and I practically eliminated processed food from our diet, started living on whole grains and fresh fruits and vegetables and cut way back on the alcohol. We have stuck with that regimen, and guess what? Food tastes better and we feel better.

However, she has not lost much weight and I have not gained back much, and my white-cell count continues to drop and puzzle everyone. More on that in another post.

Just after my return to work in March after my surgery, God gave me the best birthday present ever: I learned that the evil boss, who is from another country known for bad teeth, was effectively being fired as the company had declined to renew his work visa. He would have to leave the country in late fall. Hallelujah! Thank you, Jesus!

Thou, O Lord, art a shield for me; my Glory, you lift my head!

In August I got away from him even sooner than expected when I grabbed an opportunity to move to the morning shift after 16 years of working nights. He managed to avoid deportation and got his work visa renewed after all, but he's been removed from his supervisory position and our paths almost never cross anymore.

The year ended well as my lovely and I took 10 days around Thanksgiving to visit friends and family in Ohio, Illinois and Michigan. Then my 6-year-old goddaughter and her family moved in December from Florida to Marietta, Georgia, a scant 25 miles from our home. They went to church with us on the Sunday before Christmas and then came to our house, where we baked a birthday cake for Jesus.

All in all, I can't believe how blessed I am. Thank you, Lord.

My miraculous move

I figured I was going to live out the rest of my natural life in Ohio. After growing up in Michigan and then living in Indiana for five years, my lovely wife and I moved to Northeast Ohio for a new job. That was where Jesus kicked down the door to my heart and rescued me from depression, suicide and meaninglessness.

We loved our neighborhood, the park system, and the church that adopted us as two of its own. I moved up in responsibility at my employer and was good at what I did. Sometime around 2000, burnout began to set in and I felt a need to redeem the time by doing something significant with my life. I read a lot of books and prayed through a lot of nights.

God responded and gave me a destination and a deadline: The Carter Center in Atlanta and May 2005.

I resigned from my supervisory position in May 2005 and took a lower role. This allowed me time to teach a class at a local college. In April 2006 I offered my students extra credit for attending a national conference that was occurring nearby, and attended myself just to verify their attendance. There I met a guy who works at a large company in my field in Georgia, and we hit it off.

That summer my company hit hard times, was sold twice and started laying people off and offering buyouts to more experienced employees. I called my acquaintance in Georgia to see if he knew of any openings anywhere, and he ended up hiring me. So in November 2006 I pocketed the buyout money and we headed to Georgia, within shouting distance of the Carter Center.

God had brought me to the doorstep of my goal, and made someone else pay my way. He's clever that way.